Underwear That's Fun to Wear
by King in Yellow
Summary: Title was an ad slogan for Underoos. It takes something a little more than Superman or Wonderwoman prints to make things fun for adults. Inspired by cartoon captions and discussion at Slashhaven. Best Enemies series.


Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. 

NoDrogs created the twins in his A Small Possibility. They have a different origin in my stories.

**Underwear That's Fun to Wear**

"Shego! It was your turn to do laundry! Where are all my panties?"

"Nag, nag, nag," the pale woman complained, coming to the door and watching Kim dig around in her dresser. "Damn, I hoped you'd be standing there buck naked instead of wearing a bathrobe."

"Sorry, but I'm not allowed to let you have any fun. I think it was somewhere in the wedding vows, I didn't understand all the parts in Hebrew."

"Yes, it was my turn to do laundry. I'm also the one who does most of the childcare, I'm a full-time law student, and with you spending your days at Global Justice I'm doing most of the housework around here, except for what Ron does in the kitchen. He and I both think you don't pull your weight around here when you finally drag your ass home."

"I'm sorry, okay? I promise to try and do more. Now what am I going to do about getting in to work today. I'm not going in without panties."

"Well, you could wear the pair from yesterday--"

"Ick, and already down the laundry chute."

"You can wear a pair of mine, we're pretty much the same size."

"You have clean underwear left and I don't?"

"Sure I… Hey, I may have good news. I think I bought a three pack a couple weeks ago and haven't worn any of them yet."

"Great! Give me a pair."

Shego pulled open the plastic wrapper and tossed a pair to Kim.

"Whoa, industrial strength underwear?" the redhead asked. "These seem heavier than normal panties."

"Yeah," Shego lied. "They're supposed to wear like iron." She pressed her lips tightly together to keep from smiling as Kim put the underwear on. The smile was only partially related to the fact she enjoyed watching Kim get dressed. The redhead had fallen into her trap.

The two went downstairs together and helped Ron finish giving breakfast to the twins. They turned the girls loose from their highchairs and sat down for their own breakfasts.

"So, pumpkin, what's on your schedule today?"

"Boring stuff. What classes do you have?"

"No, I asked you first. Your life as hero fascinates me. Tell me exactly what your schedule is today."

"Unless a mission comes up I'm listening to Will Du review possible changes in the agent procedure manual starting at nine. There goes the morning. Root canal work sounds more exciting. Then, after lunch, I have remedial marksmanship at one. And at three I'm helping teach a class in disarming bombs. Working for Global Justice isn't as much fun as high school."

"Poor dear," Shego said sympathetically while patting her hand. "I'm sorry life can't be exciting. They don't use live bombs for that disarming class, do they?"

"No, of course not."

"Good. I wouldn't want anyone to get hurt."

"Get hurt?" Kim asked, puzzled by the comment.

Kim kissed the twins and Shego goodbye and left for work. Shego had already asked Ron to take the girls in to nursery school. As soon as he left with them the pale woman ran for the remote control and the signal booster she'd ask Drakken to design for her. She wasn't sure if her electronic skills were good enough to pair them together, but Doc had done a great job and there were no problems.

The usual range for the Wowwee Wear™ remote transmitter was only forty feet, but with the signal booster it should reach Global Justice headquarters. She used GPS technology to make sure the broadcast beam was tightly focused on the GJ location -- she didn't want it to turn on every pair in the US. Anyone in a pair between Middleton and GJ headquarters would just have to 'suffer'.

Shego let Kim's first meeting begin before turning the Wowwee Wear™ controls to the lowest setting, an almost subconscious tingling.

Kim had already started to doze in the meeting as Will droned on about syntax rather than substantive changes in a training manual. She found herself starting to think erotic thoughts… Erotic thoughts? As Will Du talked? Something was making her horny, and she couldn't figure out what was happening.

Shego left the remote on its lowest setting for about fifteen minutes, then kicked it up a notch to a medium tingling.

At a meeting miles away Kim jolted up in her chair. Her eyes went wide. Something was happening with her underwear. That was impossible, it was brand new underwear… that Shego had given her! Kim clenched her teeth together and determined to stick out the meeting.

Will Du smiled to see Kim sitting up with her eyes open, the redhead tended to drift off when he spoke. Either he was in good form today or she found the material fascinating. He congratulated himself for the job he was doing and decided to go longer since he had everyone's attention.

At 11:23 Shego's cell phone rang. "Hello?" the pale woman asked innocently.

"Turn it off!" Kim gasped.

"Turn what off, dear?"

"You know damn well what. Turn it off!"

"You're welcome. So you're in the mood for tonight?"

"I'm going to be in the mood to strangle you if you don't turn these off!"

"What's the magic word?"

"Please!"

Shego threw the switch. "I just can't have any fun."

"And I've got more than I need," Kim gasped. "Please don't do that again."

At 1:20 Kim was on the marksmanship range. Shego decided that Kim's "don't do that again," referred strictly to the setting she had used in the morning meeting. Kim received a medium vibration setting.

It was the lowest score Kim had ever received on the target range, but the fastest she had ever emptied a clip.

"That was a failing score," the instructor told her, "I'm afraid--"

"I can't do this right now," Kim panted. "I've, uh, got to make a call."

"She's walking funny," one of the recruits said as Kim left the firing range.

"She's going up the ranks really fast," the instructor commented. "She probably has a lot on her mind."

Her mind was not the problem.

Shego checked the caller ID before answering the phone. "Hey princess! I didn't use the same setting."

"Please, please, please… TURN IT OFF!"

When Kim was able to talk again she asked, "What in the heck is that?"

"It's called Wowwee Wear™. I saw an ad for it and thought of you--"

"Thanks loads."

"Seriously, Kim. You've been complaining about how working for Global Justice isn't as exciting as you thought it would be. I just wanted to bring a little joy into your miserable life."

"You are so full of it," Kim remarked dryly. "You just wanted to drive me crazy and you're grinning from ear to ear while you lie to me, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but you have it admit it was fun."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do. Because if you do I'll promise to never trick you into wearing a pair to work or on a mission."

"Seriously."

"My word of honor. After today, never again."

"Okay," Kim laughed, "it was sort of fun in a warped and twisted way. Never again?"

"Not after today, I swear."

Shego ate a late lunch, checking the time constantly. The bomb class was scheduled to go off at 3:00. The pale woman couldn't believe how Kim had missed her trap. The promise had been to never trick her into wearing the Wowwee Wear™ after today. That meant the rest of the day could be considered in play. The remote had four levels, with three settings within each level. So far Kim had experienced two levels of 'tingle' and one level of 'vibration.' Shego felt merciful at 3:20 when she only hit the lowest setting of the 'Oh My God' level.

In a Global Justice classroom a woman helping lead the session collapsed on the floor. She curled up in a ball and moaned, "Oh, God… Oh, God… Oh, God…"

"She's sick," the other instructor said. "Call the infirmary!"

One of the women taking the class thought to herself, "I could enjoy being sick like that."

Shego left the transmitter on for twenty minutes, then turned it off and headed for the Legal Lesbian study session. She didn't want Kim to find her without witnesses being present.

About an hour later Shego was engaged in a heated debate over unsecured debt when she heard a couple Legals call, "Hey, Kim!"

The pale woman left the discussion and looked up to see Kim moving towards her. "Hello dear!" Shego called cheerily.

"Don't 'dear' me! You… You…"

"Don't get your underwear in a knot," Shego began. The other law students wondered why the expression only seemed to make Kim angrier. "Sit down, I'll buy you a mocha and a biscotti. We need to go get the twins in fifteen minutes."

The mocha and biscotti seemed to calm Kim down. They picked up the twins without incident, enjoyed dinner and an evening playing with their daughters while Ron went off to his evening course. Kim smiled as the women got ready for bed, she had lulled Shego into a false sense of security.

_"You're getting soft,"_ Kim thought at one in the morning as she snapped the cuffs on Shego, securing the other woman's hands behind her back.

"Huh… What are you doing?" the pale woman demanded drowsily. "KIM! What are you doing! You know I don't like sex like this!"

"Just putting a pair of your own panties on you," Kim giggled. "You thought it was funny this morning when you tricked me into wearing a pair."

"It's not funny Kim, I--"

"You did a really poor job of hiding the remote, if that was what you were trying to do. Or maybe all the practice I've had looking for electronic bugs helped."

"Please, Kim, I--"

"What was the first setting you used on me? The first one in the morning meeting."

"It was the lowest setting. I… Hey, that's not too bad."

"No, not if you're expecting it. Imagine some poor woman wearing a pair and not knowing what's going on."

"Okay, maybe that wasn't fair of me. It seemed funny when--"

"What was that second setting you gave me during the morning session?"

"Just one up, the middle setting on 'tingle'.

"More than an hour," Kim complained. "Will Du thought he was fascinating because I didn't go to sleep while he was talking! You want to try to go to sleep with that going on in your pants?"

"Uuum, no," Shego purred. "I can't see why you're complaining."

"Oh you can't? What setting did you give me during target practice? You're lucky I didn't kill anyone."

"Middle setting on the 'vibrator' level." Shego gasped when Kim raised the level. "Oh, yeah," she admitted, "I can see where this would be distracting."

Kim wasn't saying anything. Shego looked over, the redhead's eyes were closed and her breathing seemed uneven. She looked down Kim's body, "You're wearing the other pair?" Shego gasped.

"Didn't seem fair to make you suffer alone," Kim moaned.

"Take the cuffs off, Kim."

"No!"

"Take them off!"

"Why?"

"'Cause I want to be holding you when you turn them up again."

"Okay," Kim gasped, fumbling for the key.

"I really am sorry," Shego apologized as she wrapped her arms around Kim.

"That's okay," Kim managed to moan.

Their lips met in a tender kiss. And Kim hit the Max setting on the remote.


End file.
